I once dated an anaesthetist
but she couldn’t stay awake
I tried the horn of plenty
it was more than I could take
A radiologist once asked me
if I would like to kiss her
but her x-ray eyes saw through me
even though I didn’t resist her
I went on the town with Dali
we drank whiskey on the rocks
We spent the evening painting
crazy eyes and melting clocks
I encountered David Hemery
on platform eight at Reading
He was running late, so I can’t say
which direction he was heading
On my next available birthday
I’m the age of sixty-five
I really can’t explain to you
why I am still alive
The crazy things I did at school
continued all through college
If anything they intensified
because I had more knowledge
I’ve stepped on stage a thousand times
to play my axe and sing
and once I even fell right through
on a prayer, not on a wing
When I shared the bill with Wozniak
we talked of Apple pies
Took selfies with my Samsung
and he didn’t roll his eyes
McCartney knocked upon my door
Said he had the wrong post code
He’d travelled quite a distance
on a long and winding road
Ringo did the same next day
so this must be quite some house
All I need now’s Jimmy Tarbuck
and I’ll be speaking Scouse
I once got on the wrong train
and I ended up in Dover
The white cliffs were a lovely sight
but I wished my trip was over
Being lost I guess has been
for me, an old familiar rhyme
But as my life’s so boring
it just helps to pass the time
Steve Wheeler © 15 September, 2021
image source: Mike Pennington
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