That Would Take the Biscuit

You try to shoot down Army drones

Go walking down dark streets alone

Get chilled through to the very bone

Live in glass houses and throw stones

Then overthrow the British throne

While texting on your mobile phone

I don’t think I would risk it

‘Cos that would take the biscuit

You could drive an ambulance

Blindfolded in the South of France

Or set fire to a heavyweight wrestler’s pants

Lie naked in a nest of ants

Be a doormat for the elephants

Make crocodiles your confidantes

You could eat the uncooked brisket

And that would take the biscuit

You could drive us all insane

Attempt to board a speeding train

Hitch a ride on a hurricane

By getting high on crack cocaine

Then cause your friends and family pain

Again and again and again and again

Then find you couldn’t fix it

And that would take the biscuit

Steve Wheeler © 21 February, 2022

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