This is giving me a lot of consternation and I'm not sure if I can give a coherent explanation ‘cos the state I'm in right now is a complication. It’s not something I’m used to, not this situation ‘cos for the first time in my life I'm running out of inspiration. I’m having to use some extra perspiration and a deeper application.
Needing to put a little more effort in but it’s hurting and I find it kind of disconcerting to think that my mind runs dry occasionally and I'm not able to create so spontaneously and I can't think of any new ideas to think like my printer has just run out of its ink and my keyboard is broken and some of the letters don't work and my Wi-Fi hub connection is going berserk and my space bar is jammed and just keeps repeating and all of my efforts are self-defeating and my creativity is retreating as my motivation is depleting and I keep back spacing and deleting and there’s lots of white space that needs completing.
It's frightening to think that this might not be an intermission and that drying up might become a permanent condition.
Just like in Grease the chills are multiplying and I feel like I'm losing control as my poetry is dying and if I told you I was comfortable with any of this I would properly be lying but I'm trying and I'm trying and there ain’t gonna be no denying that any effort at all is better than nothing and maybe even this attempt at expressing myself is something and whether I rap or I rhyme or whether or not I can make it scan I'm in need of a strategy and I'm looking for a master plan to keep my ideas going to keep the poetry flowing to keep the creativity showing to stop the motivation slowing it all boils down to this: get it down.
Get the verses onto the page and keep them going round. Express myself in every way in lyrics and in rhyme. If I can do this I ain't gonna dry up and I won't be wasting my
time.
Steve Wheeler © 4 July, 2020
Image from Pxhere
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