If I could only write poetry like Nigel from Half Man Half Biscuit and spill the beans on the more obscure aspects of modern living or how my life has been an utter train wreck but I dare not risk it not even for stardom or for a potentially larger than normal royalty pay cheque.
If I could liberally pepper my prose with names of all the places I've never been and tell the stories of all the bad things I've never done that were largely innocuous but some were downright obscene even though most of it was fun but actually it wasn't because it never really happened.
If I could casually remark about some of my attempted romances that crashed and burned for various reasons none of them within my personal control well maybe one or two I could mention you'd see that I'm an ordinary bloke just like all the others you've spurned because some other eye candy had caught your attention.
If I could liberally pepper my prose with names of all the places I've never been and tell the stories of all the bad things I've never done that were largely innocuous but some were downright obscene even though most of it was fun but actually it wasn't because it never really happened.
If I could casually remark about some of my attempted romances that crashed and burned for various reasons none of them within my personal control well maybe one or two I could mention you'd see that I'm an ordinary bloke just like all the others you've spurned because some other eye candy had caught your attention.
Steve Wheeler © 1 July, 2020
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